Hey future wives and husbands. I want to talk about chemistry. When you think about a relationship, one of the things you will think about is whether you have chemistry with your potential partner. Have you ever thought having chemistry can be dangerous for your relationship!
I recently read this article on website Popsugar. They had an article called Why Chemistry Can Actually Be Dangerous In A Relationship. According to the author of the self-help book F*CK LOVE by Micheal Bennett, MD, and his daughter Sarah Bennett, chemistry can be the reason we end up in toxic relationships.
Chemistry can draw us to the wrong person. It can stir up the darker side of ourselves and stop us from thinking rationally. How many of us been there before? Got into a relationship we knew was not good for us, but we were so drawn to them based mainly on chemistry! If I could, I would raise both hands.
This person is exciting ,exhilarating , wild and keep us on our toes! They tap the side of us we are oftentimes afraid to unleash. The issue with that is it’s not a healthy balance. Chemistry can be dangerous because it involves chemicals like endorphins and hormones. This cause us to rely on physical interactions rather then emotional connection. Hence we tend to fall for the bad boy or bad girl.
Micheal Bennett and Sarah Bennett are not saying that we should not look for chemistry when we are dating. They do share that there can be chemistry but also emotional connection. According to F*ck love, there are 5 things we should look for in a potential partner:
- Mutual Attraction
- Mutual Respect
- Shared Effort
- Common Interest
- Common Goals
Note that the author is putting emphasis on “shared”, “common” and “mutual.” The relationship becomes unhealthy when the person Dominates the relationship and when the relationship is One-Sided.
The relationship can thrive if two people are sharing the same goals in life and love. Basing a relationship off chemistry alone is dangerous and the relationship will crash and burn. Those who look for chemistry alone will get bored when you become comfortable with each other. The excitement and thrill is gone.
When looking for a potential partner, look beyond the physical chemistry. Can you spend a lifetime together? Do you have what it take to keep the relationship going if you hit your comfort zone?
Make sure we are digging deeper when dating. Having chemistry is important but you will not survive off chemistry alone.