Hey future wives and husbands! I am back with a new topic! I want to talk about assertiveness. When you hear a woman say she want to be more assertive in dating, there is always a negative stigma that goes along with that.
Before I get into why there is a negative stigma with assertiveness, lets check out what the definition of Assertive is. I went to Vocabulary.com and will give you their definition of Assertive.
If you are upfront about what you want and bold in devising a plan that helps you get it, you could be described as assertive, meaning you act with authority and confidence.
When a woman say that she is assertive, you will hear that she is stiff, unwilling to compromise and she must be bitter because of past experiences. Men assume she is not fun to hang out with and she do not know how to go with the flow.
Don’t get me wrong, I have been the woman who did not go with the flow. I appeared to be bitter because of past experiences. So when I would try to date, I was very assertive and that caused me not to get the date.
A guy would tell me to stop being assertive and go with the flow. I would do just that and relax my standards and end up getting burned. That would cause the cycle of being assertive with a mix of bitterness and resentment.
With me taking a break from dating, I wanted to revisit my thoughts on being assertive and why it was not working for me. I wrote all about my celibacy journey and my Dating Detox Challenge. Here is a link so you can go back and read that post Keke’s Celibacy Update And Dating Detox Challenge
I will share how I am balancing being assertive with dating when that time comes. I just want my single ladies to know that you can be assertive yet fun. There is a healthy balance to getting what you want without becoming bitter. I been there and learning that I do not have to lax my standards but yet be more open to whoever I am talking to.
For now I am currently not dating by choice. Need time to get my mental and spiritual self together before I enter back into the dating world. I am thinking about starting a Dating Detox Challenge. If you are interested in joining this challenge with me, leave a comment #datingdetoxchallenge and write why you would want to join my challenge.