Hey future wives and husbands!! I want to discuss destiny. I know many wonder what their destiny is? Is it to work a 9 to 5? Is it to be married and have lots of children? I know I have struggled with what I want to do in life. I often picked a career that was acceptable for my family and in laws. I wanted to please everyone except myself. I got lost in that shuffle and because I was never really happy in anything I did, I would start something but never finish.
It was not until I hit rock bottom that realized that I needed to focus on ME and what would make ME happy. I did not want to spend the rest of my life doing what was safe and I did not want to have a career that sounded good for others but not fulfilling for me. One day I got tired of being afraid and decided to pursue my true passion, WRITING! I have always had a strong love for writing. My biggest influence was Maya Angelou. I read I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS and the rest is history. I read all her poems and read more of her books. I was able to see her live when I was 19 years old. She spoke at SDSU in San Diego, CA. I will never forget that moment. She was engaging and funny. So here I am at 33 years old and was wondering if I had the courage to write? Would anyone want to read what I have to say? What would I write about anyways?
I one day got a revelation from God to write about my experience with being a widow and my dating experience. I know during my dating season, I would date in hoping to find my husband but truth be told I was no where ready to be in any relationship. I took time to focus on self and God and that is what God wanted me to write about. I was unsure of my calling because I did not feel like I should air out all my dirty laundry for the world to know. I did not want anyone to know my struggles and how I conceived my two girls. I was ashamed but God told me that He will turn my Pain to my Passion!
After finally being brave enough to speak my truth I decided to call my blog, KEKE; THE FUTURE WIFE because I still have that desire to be married again but this time I want to do it God’s way. So I bravely put up my blog and decided to let God take the wheel and in revealing my truth about being married, a widow and my dating experience, that it would influence others to love themselves and wait for that right person to truly love God and them in return.
The journey was not easy. Writing daily was more difficult than I thought. I was too afraid of what other would think if they knew my daughters were not conceived in love but pain from two different men who did not care about me nor me them. God told me that there is a message in my pain. He told me to keep going in my truth because I never know who I was inspiring! There is someone out there who may have been through that same issue and need to hear everything is going to be ok. Someone need to know that they no longer need to be ashamed. That it is ok to turn your life around. I needed to keep going because I can potentially stop someone who is about to do the very thing I did. seek self love through men or men seeking love through women and just need to read someone tell them to love themselves first!