Abstinence VS Celibacy: There is a Big Difference!

Let’s get right in and talk about SEX! Yes I am coming right out and ready to talk about Sex! I am not talking about the joy of sex or why I love sex. I want to talk about the true definition of refraining from sex. I for one do not want to have sex with my future husband but make love to my future husband! There is a difference between sex and making love and I will talk about this in  a later post. But I want to get started with the topic of celibacy and abstinence.

As I have stated on many of my post, I decided to become celibate and wait till marriage until I get intimate with my future husband. I want to focus on getting to know my future husband on a spiritual, emotional and mental level. I will also have a post about those getting to know your potential mate on a spiritual, emotional and mental level. So it was interesting watching Devon Franklin and Meagan Good on the CBS Show.

I really look up to Devon and Meagan because they are about my age and both have made that choice to remain celibate until they are married. I really respect them both for making that decision and speaking openly about this topic. I like that they both have had a sexual past and wanted to change that. For someone who was sexually active, it caught many of my family and friends off guard when I told them that I wanted to become celibate and wait till marriage. I think for them I would say that but I then came up pregnant twice after I made this declaration to them lol. My kids are three years apart. I have three kids and all are really three years apart lol. But anyways I love that I can look at a good looking couple who really kept that promise to wait until marriage to get to know each other in an intimate way.

I was on Facebook and browsing my page. I stumbled across a post Meagan Good and her husband had. They gave a link to their interview they had with CBS promoting their book; The Wait. I decided to click the link and watch their interview. Devon Franklin said something very profound. I never really thought about the difference between Abstinence and Celibacy. I would hear some say that they are abstaining from sex and then I would hear some say that they are practicing celibacy. But I just thought it was the same thing but worded different. I want to give a definition between abstain and celibate.

Abstain (verb)Refrain oneself from doing or enjoying something

Celibate (adjective)abstaining from marriage or sexual relations typically for religious reasons.

So there are the two difference between abstain and celibate. I went as far as to write out the definitions to Verb on Abstain and Adjective on Celibate.

Verb is used to describe action. State of being. So when some say that they are abstaining from sex, they are only saying for the moment they are not sexually active and that can change at any time.

Adjective a word that modifies a noun. To make it more specific and to communicate clearly. So when you hear someone say that they are celibate, they are making it clear that they will remain celibate until marriage.

Devon Franklin said that when someone say they they are abstaining from sex, they are saying that for now I am not having sex. But for him he decided to become Celibate with a purpose! To wait until he is married! I was happy that he made it more clear for myself and for those who are not sure what they want as far as waiting.

Some may want to abstain from sex until they meet someone special and want a committed relationship. Then there are the others who want something more concrete and would like to wait until marriage where the commitment is more permanent. So now we are all clear of the definition and can decide what work for us!

I pray this post bless all my future wives and husbands. You can determine what will work for you. I made the choice to remain celibate until marriage and I will be with someone who is practicing celibacy as well. God bless!

6 Replies to “Abstinence VS Celibacy: There is a Big Difference!”

    1. I am glad I that this post touched you! It is not easy being celibate but I have made so many mistakes choosing the wrong men that I had to get back with God! I want someone who will truly love me and respect me. I will not settle for less than what I deserve! That goes for you and everyone who want that mate that love God and want what God has for all of us! So keep it up! We can be support to each other!


  1. Hello I loved your article. I’m actually practicing celibacy until I marry the man God designed for me. Thank you for this insightful and mind opening article. God bless you.


    1. Glad you enjoyed this post! Being celibate is a journey and I am glad more women are deciding to wait for God’s best. I will have more articles on celibacy. It is easier when you know you are not alone on this journey. Thanks for reading my post and commenting on it! God bless you as well


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