I wanted to touch on this subject right away because I have had conversations with men and they always say that us ladies always saying what we want from a man but fall short with the very things that we ask of them. I had to admit that I at times would say I want a man that was financially stable and was goal orientated and ambitious. Well to be honest at the time I was not any of those things I wanted him to be. I am now learning and working on my financial situation and it is getting better. But if I did not take the time to work on my own short comings, then I would put pressure on my future husband to have it all together for the both of us.
I think it is time that women make sure we are everything we are asking our man to be. I am talking about the emotional, and mental aspect. That goes for the man as well. The problem is when we get into the relationship with expectations of what we want in a potential mate. We all should have expectations but I notice that we all tend to want the other person to be the very thing we are not. I know for me I lacked self love, so I was depending on other men to carry me emotionally and I needed that person to constantly say that they loved me and wanted only me. But in depending on others to love me, it made me weak and I was told on many occasions that I need to love me more before I get into another relationship. So I did just that. Stopped entertaining others to love me and decided to love myself ! When I took that time out, I have learned so much about myself and what I wanted in life and from my future husband. What I want now is a man to love God! Yes love God more than he love me because he will know how to love the way that Jesus loved us. So I no longer need validation of how great and loved I am because I now know my worth!
What we as men and women need to do is stop worrying about what he or she don’t have and need to have and see how we can work together as a team. Marriage is team work. Two people coming together to navigate this life and to figure out how to live together in harmony. If someone is overall a good catch and you share similar beliefs and goals in life, it is important to be that strength that the other seem to lack. So whatever you are strong and the other need help, be that rock. That is apart of team work. Do not be quick to dismiss certain faults because you have mastered whatever this person lack. Make that choice to think as a team and say I got you! And whatever you lack make sure your potential person got you as well! Team work make the dream work!
It is important to be equally yoked and have common ground in the relationship. But if you want someone who is financially stable, we have to make sure we are bringing that to the table as well. Same goes for attitude, goals, dreams, ambition. We all should strive to work on ourselves individually and then coming together as a couple. If we do lack anything to be that strength and help the other get strong.I pray that we all take the time to work with our potential team mate and not go against them. Lets be the men we want to marry and men make sure you are everything that you want her to be!