Hello Future Wives and Future Husbands! I recently had a young lady message me and told me that she enjoyed my blog. She also wanted my advice on building a foundation with her man. But what she wanted was to build a solid foundation that will keep them not on a relationship bases but also a best friend bases.
I wrote an article last year called: Marry Your Best Friend. I wrote that article because with I wanted to be with someone deeper than just a boyfriend. I was married to my husband and he was my best friend, But though we were best friends, we were young. We were trying to get to know each other and get to know ourselves as well. So it was a struggle to maintain our friendship within our relationship because we was trying to figure our own self out. So now that I have gotten to know myself more and spent time alone, I realized that I want to build a relationship based off friendship first and then gradually become a full blown relationship. But before you even began to pursue a relationship, make sure you have spent time alone first! That will give you time to get to know what you want and don’t want. You will come into the relationship with a strong sense of self and you can add confidence to your relationship.
So with this young lady asking for my advice, I want to give you all my top three ways to grow closer to your best friend.
1) Keep God in the Midst of your Relationship
I know you are thinking of all the things I say, I am suggesting God! Yes I have to say when I was dating my then husband. We actually grew closer because we went to church together and had Bible study together. I was a Christian and he was not, But us going to church grew us closer because we both was hungry for God. We often talked about the Bible. I mainly would send positive scriptures to him and that encouraged him. I know it may seem like a guy don’t care about the Word but when I stopped sending scriptures to my husband, he would mention it. We prayed for each other and our family and friends together. So having God in the midst really did strengthen our relationship because we both knew that having God in our relationship was building a strong foundation and we shared similar beliefs. Not to say life was perfect but we always went to God when we were struggling in our relationship! So give God a try!
2)Take time to try each others interest and try something New together as a Couple
I think embracing your partner’s interest will also help you maintain your best friend statues! Everyone knows that best friends have most things in common. But you have that friend that like to go to the mall and you like to stay at home. Or one friend may like to attend art galleries and you may like going to the movies. Best friends embrace each other for what they have in common and for what they don’t. So if you like to go camping and he or she like to shop, try doing something with your best friend. One week go the movies and the next week attend a spoken word show. Also try things together that you never tried before. Go out for Sushi and try the Spicy Tuna Roll together lol. That will keep your relationship fresh and you will something new to talk about.
3)Keep an open Communication
This by far the most important key besides God. When you are communicating on an open and honest way, it will bring you even closer because you don’t have to walk on egg shells. Talk about everything that you like and don’t like. Talk about your favorite food but also what food you don’t like. Now if you hate beets and say you love it because you want to find things in common with your potential mate, then they will be confused when you turn down beets in your salad lol. Be honest with your dreams and goals. Discuss what you want out of the relationship. What are your triggers? What make you happy? sad? mad? You have to know their views on a potential future together is. You have to talk about this often because in time things change. I think always telling each other you love them or you are upset with them will keep you from having outburst after holding in feelings for too long. Be clear of the future and it is nice that two people are planning for the future and work together as a team to maintain the vision and that can bond you as a couple and true best friend!
There is more tips but if you start off with these three things then you can seamlessly move on to more ways to maintain your relationship with your best friend. I have to add that Yes I am single! and yes you may wonder who made me qualified to give advice, well I will say EXPERIENCE!! Experience is the best teacher and for you to grow you have to go through the heartache and pain until you get to your destiny.
If my future wives and husbands would like my advice or want me to discuss any topics, then feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I look forward to communicating with you all!!!