Forgiveness is the most powerful thing we as humans can ever do. Forgiveness is more about us moving on from a tragic situation more then anything. But when it comes to someone you are dating, Can you truly forgive them for cheating on you? We as women and some men, have it in our minds that we love this person. So we decide to stay and work things out.
But instead of working things out, we are constantly throwing their infidelity in their faces. We no longer trust them to go to work, to the store, or even spend time with their friends. Now we think they cheat wherever they go. We don’t trust simple errand runs. I have been through this myself. We don’t want to leave this person because we love them. In our heads we can work it out, but when a disagreement occur, we can’t help but throw in that time he or she was late coming home after work, how they are always on social media, and we say how you not sure if they can change.
The constant battle is feeling like you can no longer trust someone who you love. You remained faithful, so you can’t get past why they did not. I would see friends and family give their cheating partner another chance. We would question why and the answer is always because they loved them and he or she promised to change. But then we see them always mad at their partner and always throwing subliminal on social media for the world to see. So the question is; why stay in a relationship if you don’t truly forgive the person you decided to stay with?
I think you if you decide to stay with someone who is not faithful to you, it’s best to actually work on truly forgiving them. The first step should be attending therapy with your partner and alone. There is a stigma that you are weak if you talk some stranger who don’t know who you are. I think it is healthy to talk to someone who is not biased and can give you some real sound advice to truly work on your relationship. When I went through infidelity. I said I forgave my man and did not want to leave him. But what I did was become extremely insecure. I would accuse him of cheating on a daily basis. I brought up the times he never came home, the times he was on the phone, and questioned his friends. I never really forgave him. What I did was take him back but called myself punishing him for what he had done. I never let him forget the hurt he caused me. Never let him forget how his actions made me who I am. Looking back, I wish I was not fearful of talking to someone about how I felt. I wished I took the time to truly work on forgiving him. Because when you take someone back, the point is to move past the pain and give this person the chance to make it right. If you are not ready to move on, then its best to go your separate ways.
So ladies and gentleman, if you decide to forgive your cheating partner, make sure you are truly making a genuine effort to forgive. I think couples therapy is the best way to go about it. Even talking to a family pastor is best as well. When you forgive but don’t put no effort to get to the root of the issues is when you go from bad to worse. Not to say that everyday will be roses and you won’t have an outburst where accusations are flying. But if you decide to stay, make sure you are working towards healing and not reminding them of what happened. We have to remember that Jesus forgave us of all of our sins. Once Jesus forgave us, it was washed underneath the Blood. He does not constantly remind us of what sins we committed. Jesus forgave and moved on. The point is work on true forgiveness and work towards a healthy relationship where trust is loyalty is gained back. When there is true love is there, the person who stepped out of the relationship will be there to work towards gaining trust back. Love through the hurt, and prove that they are worthy of forgiveness. There is hope in your relationship if there is real work being put in. Do your work!