When do you know if your Potential Mate is the One?

I wanted to talk to my fellow future wives and husbands about recognizing if you are ready to move forward in a relationship. When you are dating, do you talk about a potential future together or do you keep it light every date and every conversation? I know some ladies and even gentleman can see a first date as a interview for a husband or wife lol. I know personally I am that way. I used to date casually, but in the back of my head, I would wonder how someone truly felt about me? Could I see myself marrying this person? How would he blend in with my family or how would I blend in with his? Sometimes you know that this person won’t last long and others you can get this crazy feeling that you will end up married with a life together! I know that was my experience with my husband who was my first boyfriend and first everything lol!

I remember when I met my husband, everything moved  so fast! We did not expect to fall for each other quickly. I will admit that I told him that I loved him first smh lol. But I am the type to speak up when I am feeling someone. Not always a good thing. But with my husband, I felt safe to open my feelings up because I had this strong feeling he would feel the same. He told me that he appreciated my feelings but he was not sure if he was there right yet. He told me that he had very strong feelings but he will let me know when he felt he was in love. I did not worry because I knew he would tell me soon. Well he made me a mixed tape of love songs, got down on his knees and told me that he was in love and he was tired of fighting it. Yes we only knew each other for two weeks, but those feelings were strong and real.We became an official couple within three weeks of knowing each other. We just knew how we felt and did not hold back on our feelings. We ended up married. But in no way I am promoting moving too fast, but in our case we felt it and went with it. Nothing was peaches and cream, but I would not trade being with him for the world. Eight years after his passing, he has remained my only serious relationship.

Fast forward to now. Dating has become tough for me. I am used to moving at a fast pace, but guys like to take their time in dating. I think that it is great because you need time to get to know someone and see if there is a potential for a future. But then you wonder how long does time pass before he know he is ready to claim you as a girlfriend? How long should a lady stick around before he is ready to become exclusive?

Have any of you ladies dated someone for three months and he did not know if you were the one for him? What about six months? A year? How do you go forward with someone if he or even she is not sure where they want to be? I strongly believe a guy know what he wants and if he is taking up to almost a year and still introduce you as a friend, then it is time to move on without this person. I know it can be rough because you stayed in hopes that he will see that you can be more than a friend. Don’t wait so long that you could have met an actual potential mate, but opted to stay with someone who was never sure of who you are to him or her. There are some ladies that will string men along and I don’t want to exclude the men that have been through the waiting game like us ladies have.

My point is to be clear from the beginning what you want. If you want to be in a serious relationship, don’t date someone who only want a casual relationship. That will not work. Stick to what you want and make sure you are open with someone you are dating. The biggest lesson I learned in this dating process is stop comparing this person to my husband! Some guys need more than three weeks to figure out if you are special enough to take you off the market. But don’t sit around and wait for him to decide what he wants. I think it is important to date and not tie yourself to anyone until you are sure of your feelings and he is sure as well. I always say that when God put two people together, at the end, they will end up together. The journey may be long, but God know who is right for you. Don’t rush his timing.

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