Are you In Love or In Lust?

When we first meet someone we are attracted to, it is easy to look at the physical. That is the first thing we look at when we are attracted to someone. That is natural. But once we get passed the physical, what attracts you to this person. What would lead you to stay in a relationship? Some say emotional and some say physical. But are you holding on to someone because you actually lust them instead of love them?

I have known couples that have stayed together for years because they could not get enough of each other physically. That was all that they had in common. Sexual connection can become stronger than the emotional connection. That is why it is important to be lead by the spirit of the person and not the flesh. Physical connection will not keep you and your better half together.

Through the years of failed relationship after failed relationship, I realized that I have been lead by the flesh and not the spirit. We can have all these warning signs that this person is not right, but you think that because they can satisfy you physically, that they can satisfy you in all the other areas of your relationship. God don’t want us to be unequally yoked. That is why he saved sex for marriage and not for the courtship. Through the courtship, you can truly get to know the person that you see as a potential mate. You can get through the good and bad. See if you can weather the storm and rise to the top together. The biggest test of a relationship is when you go through the struggles. Can you get through the disagreements together? Can you work things out?

Most like to make up through make up sex! That pent up anger can be a turn on and sexy. But when you are dealing with the relationship the way God intended, you have to actually get through the issues with conversation and finding ways to make things work. Not to say that everyone make up through sex, I am only saying that you can be more clear when there is no sex involved. I appreciate the relationship that is spirit lead. Because as a couple, we can bow our head and pray together. We can sit and discuss why things are working and what is not working. You have this connection that run deeper than the physical. When you have a spiritual connection, you can last longer, because you see past the physical and reach to the heart and soul of the person you intend to marry.  This person will genuinely have your best interest at heart. This person will know what will make you happy and sad. This person will hold your hand and be there without a question.

I noticed that when you are lead by the flesh, the person will only ask enough questions to show that they care, and then sex will always be brought up. They will only be there if they can come over to your place or you come over to theirs. They will not want to spend time outside the place unless it would lead to you coming over. You won’t hear from them often. They will reach out only if they want something. I tend to move fast but lately God is telling me to slow down. I have not had sex in almost two years. But when you are attracted to someone, you mind tend to wonder. You think how they can please you in the bed. But God have lately tell me to  watch the person.  See if this person really like you for you without sex. Do this person check up on you, ask how your day is going? ask about your kids?. Do he want to know more about you? If you cannot answer that with a solid yes, then maybe its time to slow down. Make sure you are not rushing anything. I always rush and now I try my best not to rush. It’s not always easy but the end results will be greater, I can potentially meet someone who truly like me and its an emotional and spiritual connection and not the typical sexual connection.

So ladies and gentleman, slow down! Make sure you are not lusting the person. Don’t be lead by the flesh but the spirit, Listen to God! If he says he or she is not the one, run! Don’t give your body to anyone who don’t have no interest in you but to get you in bed. Give yourself a chance to meet someone who will be there for the long run.

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