I am appreciating this time of being reserved. I have learned so much about myself. I have not been on any dates in 6 months. The dating scene for me was just exhausting! You get tired of dates after dates where you are not meeting anyone who make your spirit speak. You know that feeling when your spirit ignite when you meet someone who soul align with yours. I had that feeling only once. Sure you meet someone and you think its a soul connection, but in reality its a sexual connection. But what I am talking about is something much deeper and spiritual.
For me, a soul connection is when you meet that special person and its deeper than a sexual attraction. It’s that feeling that you met this person before. This person was put on this earth just so you can end up together. I miss that feeling of meeting someone who love like you do, you can share your thoughts and feelings without judgment. That feeling that this is who I was meant to be with.
I had that feeling with my husband when we first met. It was not love at first sight, but it was this feeling that we always knew each other. We said that we loved each other after two weeks of being together. Yes we had our issues but with him I felt the most myself. He believed in me when others did not. Now that he has passed, I am blessed that we have our son together. But I have to admit, I was chasing that feeling I had with my husband with the men I was dating. I think that kept me from really meeting someone of quality. If I did not have that spark with someone, I would try to force it. I would try to get this person to have feelings for me that was not there yet. I did not give myself time nor the guy time to really get to know who I was deep down. I wanted to get to know them based on if they had qualities that my husband had. I just now realized that it turned guys off when you compare them to someone else. One guy told me that he cannot compete with a man that was no longer here. That was a hard pill to swallow but now I understand what he meant.
I see all my friends who were single a long time, finally meet their mates. I just talked to a friend who was single for years! She is a single mother like myself and we would talk about one day meeting our future husbands. I was not patient at the time, she was more patient. I would go on these dates hoping he would be my soul mate. I just wanted what I wanted with my husband. Well she remained patient and now she met the man of her dreams! was not looking but was ready. She met him at the right season in her life. I looked at her and wonder when will I meet someone special?
I searched for so long for a soul connection, that I have come to the realization that you cannot search for a soul connection! When I met my husband, I was not looking for a soul mate. He came out of no where. God don’t want us to be on a frantic search for our soul mate. We have to make ourselves available for this person to come. We hae to stop searching for who he or she is! I had to understand that because my search for a soul mate has left me single still and with no prospects in sight. God want you to prepare yourself for your soul mate. Once this person show up, you will know that this divine person was presented to you by God. We cant worry about when, where, or how he or she will show up, but it will come when we are ready.
Now I am no longer searching for a soul mate. I am working on myself and letting God take the wheel. I am ready and will make myself available for when he come. But I don’t go out thinking he will show up today. I wake up thanking God for his timing and I go about my day. I am thankful and grateful I stopped looking and searching! It is easier when you let go and let God be your matchmaker!!