Hello future wives. This evening I wanted to discuss celibacy. I am no virgin by any means lol. I have lost my virginity at the age of 23 to my first love. I tried to wait till I got married, but 9 months into our relationship I gave in to lust and passion and we made love. I am glad to say that I did end up marrying him a year after we made love. What I loved the most about my husband was the fact the before we made love, he never forced me to be with him sexually even though he was experienced. He took the time to get to know me and by the time we made love, we knew we were going to be together forever and that was what happened until he was tragically taken from me. I am in a better place but not ready to talk about his death. But I heavily learned from my marriage to him and how these times are much different.
After my husband passed away I wondered what was next for me. Do I try celibacy till I marry or should I still have a sexual relationship with someone? I am no longer a virgin so sex was no longer scary as I thought it would be before I experienced it. How is dating like now? Man I have to say that dating and sex has changed and not in the way that I like. With men and even women sex on the first date is normal!!!! you meet and if you have that feeling you just go for it! I never thought I would be the type to have a one night stand, but I became that girl! I gave in to lust early on and thinking that lust would be the start to a beautiful relationship! Boy was I wrong!
What I came to realize that after sex, men go on to the next one. The calls and text end. Obviously they did not feel the strong connection that I thought I felt. But what they will do is call when they want to have sex with you again. No dinner but nexflix and another round of sex smh. Everything is so sex driven that both men and women forget how to take things slow, to get to know the person before you know the body. After failed relationships and two beautiful daughters later I realize that I am tired of giving my body to those who don’t want to be with me.
After you keep giving your body to someone who don’t want anymore than a good time, you come to realize how many more people are you willing to sleep with ? Each relationship start with a promise to be together. But lust take over early and then you feel that with the sexual chemistry, you will become more. That is not always the case. Did we take time for the man or woman to get to know us? Before we have sex, do they know what we want out of life? our dreams? goals? our favorite food? color? What do we like to do on our spare time? I come to see that when you don’t ask those questions and are consume with lust, then there is no firm foundation for anyone to stay.
I made a vow that I will choose celibacy over lust! I made a vow that I will no longer give my body away to anyone that don’t see a future with me. I can easily see why God told us in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 ” for this is the will of God, your sanctification , that ye should abstain from fornication.” At the end of the day, our bodies is made for one person. When you are having sex with someone, it is more than just flesh going at it, it is an actual soul tie! You may want to know more about soul ties, I will talk about that subject another time.
From this day forward my vow to God and myself is that I will no longer share my naked body with anyone who did not take my hand in marriage! I want it all, the man and the commitment. No longer do I feel like sex will keep a man around, There has to be more and something holy and special for me to be able to give myself to another man!