Dating with a Purpose

When I was out there dating and having a good time, I questioned why I was dating in the first place? I have to say that I would go on dates and tell the guy what they wanted to hear. I would say that I was dating just to have fun and not looking for anything more. I was afraid that I would scare the guy off if I confessed that I wanted a relationship! But at the end, those casual relationships stayed casual and showed no signs of growing. I came to the realization that I wanted more than just a good time. I got tired of being the good time woman!

A guy can smell a woman that want a serious relationship a mile away lol. So the guy or even the woman will keep their distance and call only when they want to have a good time because they know this person will want more and will do anything. I remember when I was dating my husband. He was my first real boyfriend. I was very confident and told him that I am not dating just to pass time but I want marriage. I said this with confidence and stuck to that. So my boyfriend at the time knew where I stood and wanted the same things that I wanted. As I started to date long after my husband passing, I saw that more and more men was not willing to date a woman who wanted something serious. They will accuse you of pressuring them and taking the fun out of getting to know you. My question is do I keep my true feelings under wraps in order to have this person in my life?

Over the years I have to say that I am no longer dating just to pass the time away. I don’t want to suppress my feelings of wanting a future just to have someone there for only a season. I want to date with a purpose! You can have fun getting to know this person but also be very clear with what you want. There are cases where two people who date just to have a good time end up getting serious or even get married. But I think for me I want to date someone who share the same goals in life. To be celibate until marriage, to want marriage and build as a couple. It will never work if one person want to have a good time while the other person want more. That is unequally yoked and one of you will be hurt.

It is best to ask questions early on when you are dating. Don’t be afraid to be honest and say what you want. But don’t be desperate or in a rush. Tell this person that you know what you want out of life. It’s ok to say what your dreams and goals are. A man that is meant for you will respect what you want out of life and either agree or walk away. At this point I am ok with someone walking away. It’s best to get those who don’t want what I want out the way. I got tired of entertaining guys who didn’t share my interest just because they are cute and have the physical attraction that I wanted. Looks will fade or things will change, but what you want is someone who will take commitment serious and when two people of God is put together, no devil in hell can take away what God has put together!

So when you are getting to know someone, make sure that you both know what you want and it is lined up with what God want. Pay attention to those who want what you want out of life and not those who look good. Make sure you dig deeper!

2 Replies to “Dating with a Purpose”

  1. Where can one find a good man these days? I’m on eharmony and I have met a guy also dating with a purpose. He is respectful and understands I will not have intimacy early on. I’m really putting in the effort now to find a husband. It’s time.


    1. Well its not easy to find a good man. I think its best to pray and be open to dating. I learned not to chase a man or be so desperate for one that they notice lol. Just be open and go to events where single guys will be around. Maybe a singles night at your church or a sports bar or jazz lounge. I am still single so I am giving my best advice lol. It seem like you are talking to a nice guy so far. Don’t rush and make sure both have similar interest and goals in life. Be equally yoked and put no pressure on yourself to be married. Everything will happen in due time. God bless and hope everything work out for you.


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